Art & Inspiration Amusing car stuff / funny / stories / pics , print / whatcha got

You're going to need more timing.

 

Didn't lose the job from the Battery episode. I think it was more killing the Boss's new El Dorado Cadillac by hitting it with a stand-up style forklift. He was going down the ramp to the street, and those rear wheel steered, stand-up forklifts are about as awkward a vehicle as ever been designed. It started to fish tail on the ramp, and from his over-corrections, left, right, and when it gained the street he lost control. It whippped around, headed straight into the Boss's Cadillac El Dorado. The forks punched 2 holes through the driver's door, through the dash, through the firewall, and the left fork hit the distributor dead center, shearing off the distributor shaft. Killed his month old Caddy just like that.

 

That would fall under the heading: "Getting fired but was lucky enough to live to tell about it!"

 

If he did it being a dickhead, fire him. If he did it because he hadn't been trained in the dangers of the forklift especially on slopes, he shouldn't have been sacked. If the boss left his new Caddy where it could get bumped, the Boss was a dickhead and should've had more sense.

 

A very funny presentation of a not so funny reality.
Toward the end of my long haul career I'd get an afternoon P/U out of VA, headed to up near Toronto, VIA Buffalo. Epic until North of Balt.

 

WHAT SIZE ENGINE ? AUTOMATIC ?

 

Makes me crazy when I’m asking for a part for a car with a transplanted drive train…

 

Pity the poor counterperson stuck between an ignorant arrogant customer and a computer program written by a geek rather than a gearhead.

 

Me : explanation of part as thoroughly as possible.

Partsman: What's your phone number?

Me pissed: I don't have a phone.

Partsman: Sorry I can't help you.

Me; put in YOUR number.

Partsman: No I don't want a bunch of Spam calls !!

Me: leaving..

 

With apologies to Simon and Garfunkel......... (and copied from the 'webs)............

Hello Beater, my old friend
I've come to dump money in you again
because your brakes were oft squeaking
and your water pump kept leaking
and the rust hole that has grown in your frame
........still remains
with the sound of rattling
..

 

Even if that's kilometers per hour, it works out to 185 mph!
That would be an adventure for sure.

 

Okay… I missed that the first time I looked at the dash… uh really?

 

At that speed, I'd be afraid to look down.

 

About 30 years ago a fellow teacher bought a GTO. He had me take it for a drive with him. Country roads, I went through the gears and wound it out.
After we slowed down he asked, "How fast we were going?"
"Don't know, didn't have time to look down."
Road straightened out, got on it again.
"How fast are we going now?"
"Almost 110."
"The telephone poles were going by quicker last time."

 

"They've gone plaid". Loved Spaceballs, the movie.

 

Reminds me of the time.....Heh heh
1969 Giving a 'dancer' a ride home at two AM ln my sixty four Olds Cutlass conv. She asked to be allowed to try driving a stick. 330 cube Hurst, 3 on the floor.
It was route 3 West out of Phila. Miles and miles no light only a few country cross roads.
I give my 'patented clutch control' usage, demo, and the stick pattern demo.
Seems, she may not be ignorant to the experience.
Rolling along, all is well, I'm wondering where this could go,
I snap out of it when I realize I need to mention speed, the needle was past 95.

 

​

 

Now the boys all thought I'd lost my sense
And telephone poles looked like a picket fence.
They said, "Slow down! I see spots!
The lines on the road just look like dots.

Cheers,
Harv

 

​

 

From a thread here:
LITTLE TIPS AND TRICKS FOR GARAGE HOBBYISTS



Everyone knows the hook will slip off of the ratchet handle. You have to secure it with visegrips!

 

It's probably been 15 years since we did an ear crop like that. Hope those are older photos.